violent and they say that the Qur'an allows them tobeat their wives.
Is there any logical explanation given regarding men being allowed to
beat their wives, as stated in surat An-Nisa', verse 34?
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be
upon HisMessenger.
Dear questioner, we would like to thank you for the great confidence
you place in us, and we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His
cause and render our work for His Sake.
The verse you mention has been greatly misconceived by many people who
focus merely on its surface meaning, taking it to allow wife beating.
When the setting is not taken into account, it isolates the words in a
way that distorts or falsifies the original meaning. Before dealing
with the issue of wife-battering in the perspective of Islam, we
should keep in mind that the original Arabic wording of the Qur'an is
the only authentic sourceof meaning. If one relies on the translation
alone, one is likely to misunderstand it.
Commenting on this issue, Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former President of
the Islamic Society of North America, states:
"According to the Qur'an the relationship betweenthe husband and wife
should be based on mutual love and kindness. Allah says: "Andamong His
Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves,
that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and
mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who
reflect." (Ar-Rum: 21)
The Qur'an urges husbands to treat their wives with kindness. [In the
event of a family dispute, the Qur'an exhorts the husband to treat his
wife kindly and not to overlook her positive aspects]. Allah Almighty
says: "Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If yetake a
dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings
about through it a great deal of good." (An-Nisa': 19)
It is important that a wiferecognizes the authority of her husband in
the house. He is the head of the household, and she issupposed to
listen to him.But the husband should also use his authority with
respect and kindness towards his wife. If there arises any
disagreement or dispute among them, then it should be resolved in a
peaceful manner. Spouses should seek the counsel of their elders and
other respectable family members and friends to batch up the rift and
solve the differences.
However, in some cases ahusband may use some light disciplinary action
in order to correct the moral infraction of his wife, but this is only
applicable in extreme cases and it should be resorted to if one is
sure it would improve the situation. However, if there is a fear that
it might worsen the relationship or may wreak havoc on him or the
family, then he should avoid it completely.
The Qur'an is very clear on this issue. Almighty Allah says: "Men are
the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the
one more strength than the other, and because they support them from
their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and
guard in the husband's absence what Allah would have them to guard. As
to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct,
admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last)
beatthem (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seeknot against
them means (of annoyance); for Allah is most High and Great (above you
all). If you fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters,
one from his family and the other from hers. If they wish for peace,
Allah will causetheir reconciliation; for Allah has full knowledge and
is acquainted with all things." (An-Nisa': 34-35)
It is important to read the section fully. One should not take part of
the verse and use it to justify one's own misconduct. This verse
neither permits violence nor condones it. It guidesus to ways to
handle delicate family situation with care and wisdom. The word
"beating" is used in the verse, but it does not mean "physical abuse".
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explained it"dharban
ghayra mubarrih" which means"a light tap that leaves nomark". He
further said that face must be avoided. Some other scholars are of the
view that it is no more than a light touch by siwak, or toothbrush.
Generally, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to
discourage his followers from taking even this measure. He never hit
any female, and he used to say that the best of men are those who do
not hit their wives. In one hadith he expressed his extreme repulsion
from this behavior and said, "How does anyone of you beat his wife as
hebeats the stallion camel and then embrace (sleep with) her?"
(Al-Bukhari, English Translation, vol. 8,Hadith 68, pp. 42-43)
It is also important to note that even this "light strike" mentioned
in the verse is not to be used to correct some minor problem, but it
is permissible to resort to only in a situation of some serious moral
misconduct when admonishing the wife fails, and avoiding from sleeping
with her would not help. If this disciplinary action can correct a
situation and save the marriage, then one should use it."
Dr. Jamal Badawi, professor at Saint Mary's University in Halifax,
Nova Scotia, Canada, and a cross-appointed faculty member in the
Departments of Religious Studies and Management, adds:
"If the problem relates to the wife's behavior, the husband may exhort
her and appeal for reason. In most cases, this measure is likely to be
sufficient. In cases where the problem persists, the husband may
express his displeasure in another peaceful manner, by sleeping in a
separate bed from hers. There are cases, however, in which a wife
persists in bad habits and showing contempt of her husbandand
disregard for her marital obligations. Instead of divorce, the husband
may resort to another measure that may save the marriage, at least in
some cases. Such a measure is more accurately described as a gentle
tap on the body, but never on the face, making it more of a symbolic
measure than a punitive one.
Even here, that maximummeasure is limited by the following:
a. It must be seen as a rare exception to the repeated exhortation of
mutual respect, kindness and good treatment. Based on the Qur'an and
Hadith, this measure may be used in the cases of lewdness on the part
of the wife or extreme refraction and rejection of the husband's
reasonable requests on a consistent basis (nushuz).Even then, other
measures, such as exhortation, should be tried first.
b. As defined by Hadith, itis not permissible to strike anyone's face,
cause any bodily harm or even be harsh. What the Hadith qualifies
as"dharban ghayra mubarrih", or light striking, was interpreted by
early jurists as a (symbolic) use of siwak! They further qualified
permissible "striking" as that which leaves no mark on the body. It is
interesting that this latterfourteen-centuries-old qualifier is the
criterion used in contemporary American law to separatea light and
harmless tap or strike from "abuse" in the legal sense. This makes it
clear that even this extreme, last resort, and "lesser of the two
evils" measure that may save a marriage does not meet the definitions
of"physical abuse," "family violence, " or "wife battering" in the
20th century law in liberal democracies, where such extremes are so
commonplace that they are seen as national concerns.
c. The permissibility of such symbolic expression of the seriousness
of continued refraction does not imply its desirability. In several
hadiths, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) discouraged
this measure. Here are some of his sayings in this regard:
"Do not beat the female servants of Allah";
"Some (women) visited my family complaining about their husbands
(beating them). These (husbands) are not the best of you."
In another hadith the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is
reported to have said: "How does anyone of youbeat his wife as he
beats the stallion camel and then he may embrace (sleep with) her?"
d. True following of the Sunnah is to follow the example of the
Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) who never resorted to that
measure,regardless of the circumstances.
e. Islamic teachings are universal in nature. They respond to the
needs andcircumstances of diverse times, cultures and circumstances.
Some measures may work in some cases and cultures or with certain
persons but may not be effective in others. By definition,
a"permissible" act is neither required, encouraged or forbidden. In
fact it may be to spell out the extent of permissibility, such as in
the issue at hand, rather than leaving it unrestricted or unqualified,
or ignoring it all together. In the absence of strict qualifiers,
persons may interpret the matter in their own way, which can lead to
excesses and real abuse.
f. Any excess, cruelty, family violence, or abuse committed by
any"Muslim" can never be traced, honestly, to any revelatory text
(Qur'an orHadith). Such excesses and violations are to be blamed on
the person(s) himself, as it shows that they are paying lip service to
Islamic teachings and injunctions and failing tofollow the true Sunnah
ofthe Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)."
You can also read: IslamicGuidance on Treating Wives Read also: Islam
& Wife Beating (Special Folder)
Allah Almighty knows best.
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